A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude." She rolled her eyes and said, "you must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "you must be a Democrat." "I am,"replied the woman. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect someone else to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's all my fault."
There is too much evidence of design in the universe and life itself for there not to be a designer. Psalm 14:1
A republican policeman was interrogating 3 blonde democrats who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
He quickly adds "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"Well DUH," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
**Disclaimer***
Political affiliations were arbitrarily assigned in order to stay on topic.......The policeman might have been libertarian.
I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.
..........Mark Twain..........
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