Welsch: Fans and their IMHO's
By JEFF WELSCH,
Bozeman Daily Chronicle
1/16/2005
Looking for
LOL in all the wrong places?
Wonder what it's like to be DOH?
Have the urge to express your POV while
cloaked in the security of anonymity?
Then look no further than your local
college athletic team's Internet message board, IMHO.
If you're a devoted fan yet haven't been
exposed to one of these wildly proliferating mediums, you
either ...
* Are over 60 years old and would rather
spend an afternoon in a dentist's chair than fire up a
computer, or
* Sleeping
under a rock, or
* Have a life.
For the unitiated, Internet message boards are the extremist
wings of schools' fan bases, continually waging a jihad of
blind faith on behalf of the home team against the infidels
down the road.
They are cyber watering holes, techno-pubs where diehards
banter about teams, players and coaches without the fear of
getting clubbed over the head with an empty beer bottle.
Rumors are spread, gossip exchanged and opinions shared with
a zeal possible only because truck-driver handles are used
instead of actual names.
For instance, at Montana State's fan site, called
BobcatNation.com, regular "posters" have the monikers
BelgradeBobcat, mslacat, kmax, WYCAT and CARDIAC CATS, among
others.
These boards aren't sanctioned by the athletic programs -
indeed, most administrators and coaches, though drawn to
them like drivers to a car wreck, wish they would go the way
of five-point touchdowns and two-handed set shots - but
their influence is undeniable.
Coaches have closed practices because boosters put
videotapes online or reported injuries, new plays and lineup
shuffles.
A single item about a beleaguered coach can quickly mushroom
to a fever pitch and grease the skids of a hasty dismissal.
At one school, what began as a message-board rumor that the
star quarterback was to be hauled before a federal grand
jury on drug charges became fact within days.
Television trucks from across the state set up shop in front
of the courthouse and waited for the player's arrival.
When he never appeared, one reporter finally ventured inside
to inquire when the proceedings were to start.
"What are you talking about?" was the reply from a court
official who was bewildered by the media crush.
Typically, these message boards are good for little more
than lots of laughs (LOL), with points of view (POV) that
can leave visitors deliriously overcome with hilarity (DOH),
in my humble opinion (IMHO).
Nevertheless, these web sites have become enormously
popular, so as a public service from a reporter who is
neither over 60 nor sleeping under a rock - Apparently, I
need a life - I'm offering a free primer for the unitiated.
To wit:
* The home team is the paragon of virtue; all others,
especially the arch-rival, are the embodiment of everything
evil.
At BobcatNation.com, Montana State faithful are
unquestionably the Big Sky Conference's most knowledgeable,
exuding class and loyalty in victory and defeat, while
Montana's are arrogant, whiny, bandwagon-hoppers.
At eGriz.com, Montana faithful are unquestionably the
league's most knowledgeable, exuding class and loyalty in
victory and defeat, while MSU's are insecure, whiny,
bandwagon-jumpers.
* The league's referees are worse than the local junior-high
circuit, and clearly have a vendetta against "us."
But it's futile to complain to the commissioner, an
incompetent boob who hates "us" and hired the incompetent
supervisor of officials who hired the incompetent officials
in the first place.
* The arch-rival can never, ever be called by its actual
nickname.
At BobcatNation, it isn't the Grizzlies, it's "The Friz." At
Michigan State, it isn't Michigan, it's "ScUM." At Oregon
State, it isn't Oregon, it's the "Ucks." At Oregon, it isn't
the Beavers, it's the "Rodents."
* If one of "our" players is arrested for an altercation at
a local pub, it's surely an aberration, most likely an
understandable error in judgment by a good guy who was
goaded by drunk students and cuffed by officers eager to bag
a high-profile athlete.
If it happens at the arch-rival school, it's clearly a case
of lack of institutional control, proof positive of their
willingness to win at any cost, and merely the tip of an
ugly iceberg that begs the NCAA's scrutiny.
* If posters are calling for a coach's head, then "they"
just lost "their" last game.
If posters are calling for a lifetime contract, then t"we"
just won "our" last game.
* Posters who venture over from the evil arch-rival's site
are moronic "trolls" whose only mission is to "flame" on the
virtuous.
Not that rules aren't broken, of course.
For instance, at BobcatNation and eGriz, perhaps because the
fan bases are smaller and the stakes lower, discussion
definitely is more reasoned than at elite programs' sites.
Still, if you've been looking for LOL in all the wrong
places, any is worth a visit.
You'll soon be ROFL (rolling on the floor laughing). |
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