You Know You're From Montana When...
*You only know four spices - salt, pepper, Ranch dressings and ketchup.
*You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
*You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
*You have 10 favorite recipes for Elk meat.
*You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
*Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
*You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
*You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
*The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page,but requires 6 pages for local sports.
*You can write a check at McDonalds for 2 Big Macs and fries.
*At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
*The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
*Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
*You think the start of Elk season is a national holiday.
*You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears don't.
*You have to leave your car windows up in every campground(so the bears don't drive them)
*You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
*The major county fund-raiser isn't bingo - it's sausage making.
*You find -40F a little chilly.
*The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
*You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Sorels.
*You can play road hockey on skates.
*You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and construction.
*You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Montana friends.
Submitted by: Janna Huhtala
Billings, MT
3/28/2002
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