You Know You’re From Montana When…

*You only know four spices – salt, pepper, Ranch dressings and ketchup.

*You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

*You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

*You have 10 favorite recipes for Elk meat.

*You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

*Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

*You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

*You owe more money on your snowmobile than your  car.

*The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page,but requires 6 pages for  local sports.

*You can write a check at McDonalds for 2 Big Macs and fries.

*At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

*The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

*Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

*You think the start of Elk season is a national holiday.

*You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears don’t.

*You have to leave your car windows up in every campground(so the bears don’t drive them)

*You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

*The major county fund-raiser isn’t bingo – it’s sausage making.

*You find -40F a little chilly.

*The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

*You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Sorels.

*You can play road hockey on skates.

*You know 4 seasons – Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and construction.

*You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Montana friends.