Tackling a Culture of Sexism

[GGNez]

I want to clarify something.

I've never felt that I need any males on this forum to stick up for me specifically, even back before the #banding. I don't respond emotionally to the banter here and can dish it as well as taking it. So, please don't think I was calling anyone out on here.

In fact, my first post when I returned was that there is an entirely different feeling here than a few years ago. I enjoy the current personalities, humor and rivalries a lot. The tone has changed a lot for the better.

Also, when I refer to the need for dialogue and listening to different viewpoints, I have found eGriz posters to be FAR more receptive to that than some on the other side.

A lot of you saw the posts AG made about me and my Missoulian column supporting Hauck. Well, you may not know that I also got an ugly, personal, threatening message from another man who was against Hauck's hiring. I'm in no way trying to paint anyone here in a bad light. Just having dialogue.

Again, Signed, PR and others who contributed to the dialogue, thank you! I wish more people on each side would be willing to discuss, share and at least consider other perspectives.

 

[PlayerRep]

This is to explain what they mean about teaching women not to get raped. Just providing an explanation of the meaning: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/stop-teaching-how-to-not-get-raped

I believe the women should be taught to avoid things that might get them in bad situations or raped, and agree that boys/men should also be taught not to rape. I certainly was. I think most boys are.

I don't get this statement. "But from a young age, boys should also be taught that women are not "theirs" to have. Neither men nor women are property. " I don't know anyone was taught then women are "theirs". I'm fine with teaching boys this, but I think they already know that.

"Only yes means yes." Sorry, but I think this is just plain stupid. This is not how flirting, playing, relationships, or sex work most of the time. Tp me, this is just another one of those (dumb) phrases, like rape "culture". Please.

 

[RobGriz]

Toxic masculinity? The fuck is that?

 

[grizcountry420]

Social Justice Warriors and Feminists have literally ruined everything..

 

[Coach]

Toxic masculinity? The f*** is that?

Its acidic femininity gone awry

 

[goatcreekgriz]

Toxic masculinity? The f*** is that?

Deodorant, sort of like Brut.

 

[Ursa Major]

What is a "culture of sexism"? I can't find a definition. I see that some article says ESPN has a culture of sexism. Is there a difference between sexism and a culture of sexism? Is a place where sexism is encouraged or condoned a "culture"? I don't get the culture part.

I think the "culture" part is more narrative than reality.

Is there such a thing as a "culture of man-hating"? Or is it illegal to even ask that question?

Someone's trolling for an argument. :roll:

 

[Spanky]

It seems that the culture is a culture of man hating. These people aren’t interested in romance between a man and a woman which would include flirting. I think we are in big trouble.

 

[Spanky]

An agenda item for the culture of sexism panel could be a suggestion for the ladies on Fox News to wear clothes.

 

[Griz#64]

Habitual piss and moan culture??

 

[grizcountry420]

It seems that the culture is a culture of man hating.

That’s what feminism is all about now. They hate men, especially white males. It never use to be like that. It’s now a mean, vendictive man hating philosophy. They love to spread lies about wage gaps and lies about campus rape culture and then they turn around and play the victim and say feminsimsm is all about equality.. Give me a break. And by looking at who’s on this committee, it’s all a wild goose chase!

 

[BadlandsGrizFan]

When I was a student at UM, the so called culture of sexism was often initiated by women.
In fact, as a bartender at a very popular college place, often I was approached in an aggressive manner by those of the female species.
Aren’t women today behaving in a similar fashion?

I agree with this and actually just watched a documentary on the matter also. Women today approach sex with essentially the same thought process and intentions that men do, specially college aged women.

The difference comes from the few, both men and women, that still do not view sex as the populous now does, and often times the attempts and reactions go horribly wrong. This is where the culture should and must change.

 

[BadlandsGrizFan]

PR, a culture of sexism or rape culture refers to a multitude of accepted attitudes and behaviors that enable and sometimes incite sexual assault and misogyny. For example, here's a hypothetical: imagine a chat forum made up mostly of men and a few women. A couple of the men repeatedly respond to anything the female says with remarks like, "go make me a sandwich" or "you probably perform sex acts for food". Most of the other men wouldn't say those things, but they also don't stand up for the woman. A few respond with a laughing or applause emoji. Seems harmless, but it is creating and supporting a group message that says that the female is inferior to the others. Or, an overweight female has an opinion you disagree with. When the general consensus of people accept that it's ok or "normal" to call her fat or unattractive but would not respond that way to an unattractive overweight male, that is a "culture" that accepts the notion that women are to be judged on their physical appearance rather than their mind. These are only two examples of seemingly minor factors that all play into undermining and disrespecting an entire gender. Similarly, and at another level, many college parties have had a tradition of inviting freshman females, making a special "punch" for them with extra alcohol or even worse, then getting them intentionally wasted so they can have sex with them. The entire "culture" at the party accepts this as ok and "normal", that perpetuates rape against women. Or, at least, manipulation and taking advantage of women if you prefer not to use the appropriate word. Beau Donaldson's rape victim was taunted, harassed, threatened on campus, online, downtown and had to listen to her high school teacher talk about Beau's exemplary character at his sentencing. He did it. He raped her. So, a "norm" within a social group that accepts punishing victims is part of this entire "culture".
These are just a few examples - as a female, I can tell you we have ALL experienced several others on many levels our entire lives. It's up to you - the real men - at this point. Most of you are respectful, and wonderful people. But, you gotta get to the next level and start calling out other men as if their target is your mom or sister. Because they deal with it all the time too.
Am I being an "angry man-hating feminist?" f*** no. I love men. Most of my friends are men. I am not easily offended. But, this is the answer. "Rape Culture" is not a buzz word.

If you really want to learn, this is a decent article:
http://www.southernct.edu/sexual-misconduct/facts.html

What is unfortunate is one could substitute or switch "men" and "women" in many examples. Let's flip the tables....

Chat forum made up of mostly women who may degrade, shame, belittle or make sexually suggestive derogatory remarks about one of the few male posters...check.

Respond with laughing emoji (A pat on the back "you go girl" if you will) Little if any women on forum defending man. Possibly even ganging up on him.....check

Grossly overweight man has an opinion many women will disagree with. Or let's say just for shits and giggles a guy with an orange face and hair that looks like a muppet character when the wind blows. Women are going to make fun of his appearance and say vicious things about his physical attributes? He has a different opinion so fair game right?....check

As a male I can tell you I have been sexually harassed by females more times than I can count in my lifetime. Physically and verbally, most often by strangers, on many occasions by "superiors" or co-workers, quite often in groups.

Are repeated unwanted advances considered sexual harassment? Grabbing my ass in public? Trying to undo my belt? Loudly proclaiming very inappropriate things about my body and than laughing with your (and I don't mean YOUR GG, rather whomever the instigator is) friends?....check...check....check.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a gentleman to ladies. I will hold the door open and say yes 'mam and thank you please and smile. I raised two spectacular, educated and beautiful daughters on my own (Yes, their mother bailed over 20 years ago, haven't seen her since) I could go on about the "deadbeat dad" labeling, quite often by our lawmakers but that's a whole different story.

What I'm getting at is it just isn't a women issue. It's a people issue. I'm not the one to say how any individual should or shouldn't be affected by being sexually harassed, assaulted, shamed etc but I will say I think I'm pretty freaking normal, mentally sound and successful for being assaulted so many times. I brushed it off, shrugged it off, made excuses for the culprits (ladies in the bachelorette party must have been into the punch at the dorm party) and didn't let it bother me the next day or years later. Should everyone react the same as me? Most certainly not, everyone handles traumatic events differently.

What I AM saying is if it bothers you personally, seek help, take action, file charges or go public if necessary but (in my opinion) don't make a big deal of it if it doesn't bother you just because someone else says you have been violated and this is how you SHOULD feel.

I sometimes get the impression that being part of the movement is an exciting rush to many who may very well have been the aggressors themselves in the past but received a pass because they are female.

I agree....as a white male in my late 20s......this world is just so DAMN HARD for us....

We deserve better :roll:

 

[BadlandsGrizFan]

It seems that the culture is a culture of man hating.

That’s what feminism is all about now. They hate men, especially white males. It never use to be like that. It’s now a mean, vendictive man hating philosophy. They love to spread lies about wage gaps and lies about campus rape culture and then they turn around and play the victim and say feminsimsm is all about equality.. Give me a break. And by looking at who’s on this committee, it’s all a wild goose chase!

Ughhhh I knowwwww...

I wake up every morning hating that I was born a straight white male!!!


[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6gjqMrOy8[/youtube]

 

[GGNez]

It seems that the culture is a culture of man hating.

That’s what feminism is all about now. They hate men, especially white males. It never use to be like that. It’s now a mean, vendictive man hating philosophy. They love to spread lies about wage gaps and lies about campus rape culture and then they turn around and play the victim and say feminsimsm is all about equality.. Give me a break. And by looking at who’s on this committee, it’s all a wild goose chase!

Ughhhh I knowwwww...

I wake up every morning hating that I was born a straight white male!!!


[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6gjqMrOy8[/youtube]

This makes me sad. I hope that's not true. I love men. Sure, there are a-holes but certainly plenty of unkind women as well. I hate seeing this divisiveness from both sides. Reasonable thinking, rational opinions, open minds....I hope they make an appearance again. xoxo

 

[GGNez]

This is to explain what they mean about teaching women not to get raped. Just providing an explanation of the meaning: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/stop-teaching-how-to-not-get-raped

I believe the women should be taught to avoid things that might get them in bad situations or raped, and agree that boys/men should also be taught not to rape. I certainly was. I think most boys are.

I don't get this statement. "But from a young age, boys should also be taught that women are not "theirs" to have. Neither men nor women are property. " I don't know anyone was taught then women are "theirs". I'm fine with teaching boys this, but I think they already know that.

"Only yes means yes." Sorry, but I think this is just plain stupid. This is not how flirting, playing, relationships, or sex work most of the time. Tp me, this is just another one of those (dumb) phrases, like rape "culture". Please.

WHOA....did you just "oh, please" me, Player Williard Rep????? F that.

You make some moderately tolerable points. :|

 

[BWahlberg]

It seems that the culture is a culture of man hating.

That’s what feminism is all about now. They hate men, especially white males. It never use to be like that. It’s now a mean, vendictive man hating philosophy. They love to spread lies about wage gaps and lies about campus rape culture and then they turn around and play the victim and say feminsimsm is all about equality.. Give me a break. And by looking at who’s on this committee, it’s all a wild goose chase!

Ughhhh I knowwwww...

I wake up every morning hating that I was born a straight white male!!!


[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6gjqMrOy8[/youtube]

This makes me sad. I hope that's not true. I love men. Sure, there are a-holes but certainly plenty of unkind women as well. I hate seeing this divisiveness from both sides. Reasonable thinking, rational opinions, open minds....I hope they make an appearance again. xoxo

I think he's being sarcastic GG...

 

[kemajic]

17 pages for sure.

 

[wbtfg]

You know things in missoula have changed when it's national signing day and "tackling a culture of sexism" is the top thread on the football board

 

[GGNez]

That’s what feminism is all about now. They hate men, especially white males. It never use to be like that. It’s now a mean, vendictive man hating philosophy. They love to spread lies about wage gaps and lies about campus rape culture and then they turn around and play the victim and say feminsimsm is all about equality.. Give me a break. And by looking at who’s on this committee, it’s all a wild goose chase!

Ughhhh I knowwwww...

I wake up every morning hating that I was born a straight white male!!!


[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6gjqMrOy8[/youtube]

This makes me sad. I hope that's not true. I love men. Sure, there are a-holes but certainly plenty of unkind women as well. I hate seeing this divisiveness from both sides. Reasonable thinking, rational opinions, open minds....I hope they make an appearance again. xoxo

I think he's being sarcastic GG...

Sarcasm makes me sad, BW....