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#AskCDA

CDA, I need some advice.

I have a friend that I am guessing has multiple personalities. One of them really is a prick and I want to kick his fu*king ass the old Irish way. His name is "Jack" and he is a pompous and pretentious co*ksucker that acts like hes better than everyone else.

If I decide to go all pugilist on him will this be socially acceptable? (I really dont care if it is)


Thanks in advance
 
ALPHAGRIZ1 said:
CDA, I need some advice.

I have a friend that I am guessing has multiple personalities. One of them really is a prick and I want to kick his fu*king ass the old Irish way. His name is "Jack" and he is a pompous and pretentious co*ksucker that acts like hes better than everyone else.

If I decide to go all pugilist on him will this be socially acceptable? (I really dont care if it is)


Thanks in advance
Click to expand...

You can always get Wahlberg to kick Captain Jack's ass for you....No? It's only one of the multiple personalities. Brint can handle it.
 
CDA, I discovered a "Bobcat silencer"..by chance.

I came home and my wife (a Bobcat) was messing with the vaccuum cleaner. "What's wrong with it" I asked. "It wont suck" she replied. "Put a Bobcat sticker on it and it will suck again" I said.

The silence around the house has been great.

Should all vaccuum cleaners come with Bobcat stickers?
 
blackfoot griz said:
CDA, I discovered a "Bobcat silencer"..by chance.

I came home and my wife (a Bobcat) was messing with the vaccuum cleaner. "What's wrong with it" I asked. "It wont suck" she replied. "Put a Bobcat sticker on it and it will suck again" I said.

The silence around the house has been great.

Should all vaccuum cleaners come with Bobcat stickers?
Click to expand...

I laugh at their belief that the silent treatment is punishing us, little do they know that our idea of the perfect wife is a great cook with big tits who is a mute.
 
ALPHAGRIZ1 said:
CDA, I need some advice.

I have a friend that I am guessing has multiple personalities. One of them really is a prick and I want to kick his fu*king ass the old Irish way. His name is "Jack" and he is a pompous and pretentious co*ksucker that acts like hes better than everyone else.

If I decide to go all pugilist on him will this be socially acceptable? (I really dont care if it is)


Thanks in advance
Click to expand...

AG, this is a great question that people ask me often. If someone has multiple personalities, the social acceptability of a pugilist endeavor on that individual depends on the personality the individual is manifesting at the time of the pugilist endeavor. I had a friend who had three personalities: (a) a French maid; (b) an overconfident butcher; and a painting of a bowl of fruit that looked at me "the wrong way." My former roommates all agreed that the social acceptability of a pugilist endeavor on each personality was as follows:

(a) Unacceptable
(b) Acceptable when he tries to sell USDA Choice as USDA Prime (I know marbling when I see it)
(c) Acceptable always
 
blackfoot griz said:
CDA, I discovered a "Bobcat silencer"..by chance.

I came home and my wife (a Bobcat) was messing with the vaccuum cleaner. "What's wrong with it" I asked. "It wont suck" she replied. "Put a Bobcat sticker on it and it will suck again" I said.

The silence around the house has been great.

Should all vaccuum cleaners come with Bobcat stickers?
Click to expand...

BFG, this is a great question that I am asked often, by people. It is a scientific fact that no mechanical device actually sucks. They create a vacuum by pushing air from a chamber, thus making air (and debris) rush into the chamber. Your Bobcat wife, with her vast scientific knowledge from her time in Bozeman, should have known this. You played it exactly how you should. As for the sticker fixing the problem, I am not surprised. The Bobcats definitely p-p-push it. They push it real good. And to answer your question, of course every household cleaning device should have a Bobcat sticker on it. You have to keep morale up among the users of such devices.
 
CDA, with it readily and widely available for no more than a buck ninety nine, why do so many people avoid using a little fucking deodorant, in much the same way the cats avoid wins in November?
 
CDAGRIZ said:
blackfoot griz said:
CDA, I discovered a "Bobcat silencer"..by chance.

I came home and my wife (a Bobcat) was messing with the vaccuum cleaner. "What's wrong with it" I asked. "It wont suck" she replied. "Put a Bobcat sticker on it and it will suck again" I said.

The silence around the house has been great.

Should all vaccuum cleaners come with Bobcat stickers?
Click to expand...

BFG, this is a great question that I am asked often, by people. It is a scientific fact that no mechanical device actually sucks. They create a vacuum by pushing air from a chamber, thus making air (and debris) rush into the chamber. Your Bobcat wife, with her vast scientific knowledge from her time in Bozeman, should have known this. You played it exactly how you should. As for the sticker fixing the problem, I am not surprised. The Bobcats definitely p-p-push it. They push it real good. And to answer your question, of course every household cleaning device should have a Bobcat sticker on it. You have to keep morale up among the users of such devices.
Click to expand...

The 7 year old battery in my '40 ford is kind like the Bobcats too. It always goes dead when it's cold out. My question is, and I'm not anticipating any trouble mind you, what is the proper response if someone (not an elderly invalid) behind me at the NDSU game tells us to sit down? Could happen.
 
CDA,

Did I miss a live session Friday evening? I realize that this in not a "public forum" but it would be great if you actually planned an event for us. Of course you could change the rules at the last minute to not allow your critics to confront you, not that you have any critics.
 
CDA, the other night my 14 year old daughter and I were listening to music and drinking some Fireball. I just found out that she went on social media and was telling her friends about how cool her dad was for letting her drink Fireball.

Now my wife is pissed and asked what the hell is going on.

Should I come clean or lie?

#icantlaydowninmay
 
CDAGRIZ said:
In a strange twist, Titleist is actually rumored to have TWO Girlfriend Pillows (a righty and a lefty). Further, snap PM'ed me to say that he thought he had two Girlfriend Pillows, but they turned out to be real. Finally, 420 went a different direction, Ol' Big Booty Judy: http://www.amazon.com/Big-Mouth-Toy...id=1430802513&sr=1-7&keywords=inflatable+doll
Click to expand...

As always, you nailed it. My question is, how do you fix a hole in your girlfriend pillow. Not sure how the hole got there, but I feel like people will start talking if I don't fix it.
 
MrTitleist said:
CDAGRIZ said:
In a strange twist, Titleist is actually rumored to have TWO Girlfriend Pillows (a righty and a lefty). Further, snap PM'ed me to say that he thought he had two Girlfriend Pillows, but they turned out to be real. Finally, 420 went a different direction, Ol' Big Booty Judy: http://www.amazon.com/Big-Mouth-Toy...id=1430802513&sr=1-7&keywords=inflatable+doll
Click to expand...

As always, you nailed it. My question is, how do you fix a hole in your girlfriend pillow. Not sure how the hole got there, but I feel like people will start talking if I don't fix it.
Click to expand...

I know I am not CDA, but I know it cant be fixed with pride.................maybe some "elbow grease"?
 
CDA,

With Letterman's retirement, am @ an impasse as to who/whom to watch after our late local news. Should I pick one of the new guys or deepen my devotion to social media? Thought about getting a girlfriend pillow and hitting the sack a little earlier, but have been dissuaded by a prior discussion.

My wife wouldn't say if she wanted a boyfriend pillow, but was interested in a lovely glass sculpture. I told her I would check in the novelty section @ Costco to see if we could get a better deal buying in bulk. Have you seen anything like this @ your local Costco?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00GNC8FNI/ref=mp_s_a_1_sc_4?qid=1432309158&sr=8-4-spell&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=glas+dild

As always, hope this finds you well. Will now hang up and wait for my answer.
 
CDA:

Boy you have your work cut out for you answering the last few posts......is that while you're taking a break?
 
CV Griz Fan said:
CDA:

Boy you have your work cut out for you answering the last few posts......is that while you're taking a break?
Click to expand...

Great question, and one that people ask me often. My last three weeks were: Arkansas, NYC, Norfolk, and San Diego. Home for only 4 days. I haven't had the time to thoughtfully respond to the other grey questions which are asked of me often. The last thing I want to do is disrespect those inquiries by putting together hasty responses. I am back to normal now, and all will be answered in due time.

I hope this answer finds you well.
 
CDA, welcome back.

My question concerns Direct TVs new advertising campaign "Hannah and her Horse". Why doesn't Hanna ever show her ass? We have a sidelong view of her riding the horse, a bad view of her feeding the horse a carrot, and a weird one of her lying in the ocean with her ass hidden in the surf, talking to a goat. Is there something wrong with her ass? Is it too flat or maybe too large? All I know is that I want to see it because the rest of her is beautiful.

Signed,

Show Hannah's ass
 
I'll help CDA out and dispel any "Hannah has a bad ass" conspiracies.


Hannah-Davis-Ass.jpg
 
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