Trophy Kids

[montanatarheel]

This is the name of a documentary about overbearing sports parents I watched today. One of the kids it focuses on looked so familiar. About half way through I finally looked him up, it was none other than Ian Fox a point guard from Redondo Union High. He was a class of 2014 prospect who the Griz offered and i believe had an official visit set up with. He ended up going to Idaho St for 3 games then transferred to Fullerton CC in California.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9i9MNVX8R8

Very interesting story with him, his dad and his 1st HS coach. Who was fired after Fox's Sophomore year after his dad and other parents complained to the AD and threatened to transfer. Another kid they followed was Ian's teammate, 1 year older. His dad was brutal. Tough spot for a coach to have to deal with one, let alone 2 parents like that. He ended up at D2 colorado-mesa but transferred out not sure where he is now. Here is an article with more details.

http://www.dailybreeze.com/general-news/20120403/redondo-coach-dismissed-disgruntled-parent-sounds-off-on-tom-maier-who-answers-back

Sounds pretty unprofessional by the coach and petty by Fox, his father and other parents. They did win state the following year but also had a couple kids transfer in so who knows. Anyways I found this very interesting and would recommend the movie to anyone who likes sports and doesn't mind getting angry for an hour and a half.

 

[UMGriz75]

I often enough note that "projection" seems to be key characteristic of a certain kind of rabid fan. I've noted it this year in spades with "Stitt fans" -- of which I am one by the way -- notably in the way that this subgroup of fans project onto Bob Stitt -- or any other coach they attach their personal bandwagon to -- all of their own preferred coaching styles, strategies, characteristics and personal behaviors completely independent of what the coach may actually be saying or doing. This year it has led to bizarre claims about his CSM record, and the chest-thumping, "by God, he's going to change EVERYTHING by recruiting (for example) quarterbacks that are SMART and FAST!" It is past the point of absurdity with the claims because the alternative itself is so absurd.

But, oh my gosh, the projections of parents can be ten times worse because the fulcrum isn't an internet forum, it's a kid, and the lever that is simply exhaling hot air on the internet is transformed into real pressures -- distorting pressures -- and it makes life miserable for a coach, coaching staff and ... the kid. I find it just appalling. In the same fashion that fully adult male FANS hang on the every utterance of a 17 year kid being recruited as though it is divine revelation, there is a parent out there who believes that his 17 year old kid is in fact the second coming, and that everybody ought to get on board with that thought RIGHT NOW.

And for the 17 year old, with fans devoting 4 and 5 pages of repeated adulation over his brief comments when recruited, being pushed by the parent to believe that the adulation is warranted, I'm not convinced that kid is getting "out of sports" what sports is supposed to be offering to young men in terms of character as well as skill development. Indeed, it looks to me to be the opposite, and if so, "sports" has failed or is failing its purpose.

"Coaches" used to be the bulwark against those negative parent behaviors. But, with aggressive parents and overbearing fans, the pressure on coaches is something that represents the most negative development in high school and collegiate sports in my lifetime.

"Trophy" kids. Coaches aren't above criticism themselves for creating an environment in which the "trophy" kid syndrome seems to flourish. With the proliferation of rating systems, communications, fans breathlessly following -- and commenting on -- each "visit" and each "twitter comment," coaches themselves increasingly are pressured to flatter these kids "to get the recruit" as recruiting itself has become increasingly professionalized, with kids and parents launching sophisticated public relations efforts with literature and videos as well as other forms of self-promotion to ensure recruitment by a deserving school. I understand that there is even a developing field of "consultants" to assist parents and kids through the recruiting process.

Makes me sick. It's not sports any more.

 

[montanatarheel]

Yeah it was pretty brutal in some spots. Thankfully I didn't seem to run into parents like these in my HS days. There was one parent who was there for everything, open gyms, tryouts, practice but he wasn't vocal and aggressive like these guys. These are definitely the extreme end of the spectrum but there are a lot more out there than I would like to admit.

Unfortunately I think the summer AAU travel circuit has really affected this in a very negative way. It is a great tool for kids to get noticed by coaches but all too often leads kids away from smart, team play in order to get noticed. Fox's father mentioned that his son had a good travel team and didn't need HS basketball. He would be receiving a D1 offer regardless. It also caters more to the kids with money, the other dads says he has spent enough to buy 2 lombourghini's on personal trainers, coaches, travel circuit expenditures, and that was before his son graduated HS.

Very disheartening to think about.

 

[grizfnz]

The musclebound, foulmouthed , fake-tan dad claimed to be such s great business man. Guess he didnt realize that 2 lambos for a D2 scholly was shitty ROI.

The football dad was also a dick. I didn't see where the dad ever went pro, guess he's a bigger failure than he made his kid out to be. The kid plays for D2 Western Washington.

 

[UMGriz75]

These "Dads" start in Little League these days.

 

[Mavman]

Teach your kid to work hard and be coachable, then get the hell out of the way! Wait till they want to discuss the game they just had it will go alot smoother. Let the coach coach!

 

[UMGriz75]

Teach your kid to work hard and be coachable, then get the hell out of the way! Wait till they want to discuss the game they just had it will go alot smoother. Let the coach coach!

Of course, it can't happen. It's "projection."

Projection (Psychological)

1) An unconscious self-defence mechanism characterised by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues onto someone or something else as a form of delusion and denial.

2) A way to blame others for your own negative thoughts by repressing them and then attributing them to someone else. Due to the sorrowful nature of delusion and denial it is very difficult for the target to be able to clarify the reality of the situation.

3) A way to transfer guilt for your own thoughts, emotions and actions onto another as a way of not admitting your guilt to yourself.

 

[SWeberCat02]

:lol: There is a running joke on the Weber forum about Ian Fox being the next big thing in the conference. There was a discussion about freshman last season and someone came on the forum trying to talk Fox up, saying he would be something great. After seeing this I think we can conclude it was Ian's father that posted all the hype on his son.

 

[UMGriz75]

:lol: There is a running joke on the Weber forum about Ian Fox being the next big thing in the conference. There was a discussion about freshman last season and someone came on the forum trying to talk Fox up, saying he would be something great. After seeing this I think we can conclude it was Ian's father that posted all the hype on his son.

I've had several friends who had sons on the Griz football team over the years, and they are all proud Dads of course, but I don't think I've ever known anyone personally that would go to those lengths to promote their own kids and yet ... I hear of this more and more, and in some cases its pretty obvious. Everybody wants their kids to do well, and we all live to some extent vicariously through our kids, but wow, there is a point that it is nearly pathological. And some fans fall into the same category.

 

[Mavman]

Teach your kid to work hard and be coachable, then get the hell out of the way! Wait till they want to discuss the game they just had it will go alot smoother. Let the coach coach!

Of course, it can't happen. It's "projection."

Projection (Psychological)

1) An unconscious self-defence mechanism characterised by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues onto someone or something else as a form of delusion and denial.

2) A way to blame others for your own negative thoughts by repressing them and then attributing them to someone else. Due to the sorrowful nature of delusion and denial it is very difficult for the target to be able to clarify the reality of the situation.

3) A way to transfer guilt for your own thoughts, emotions and actions onto another as a way of not admitting your guilt to yourself.

Well it has worked well for my son. He is not the best, however has gotten picked for all star teams and travel teams because he is above average skill wise, hard worker and very coachable. Also coaches know as parents we will not be a pain in the ass.

I do see alot of "projection" from parents and coaches at tournaments and such. I try to use coaches, parents and kids with bad attitudes as examples for my kids on how not to do things. It is also a good reminder to myself to never get too wrapped up in the success or failures of my children in competitive environments.

 

[UMGriz75]

Well it has worked well for my son. He is not the best, however has gotten picked for all star teams and travel teams because he is above average skill wise, hard worker and very coachable. Also coaches know as parents we will not be a pain in the ass.

I often wonder how a parent can consider their kid "coachable" by constantly pressing the kid and his "achievements" and operating a veritable public relations firm for the kid. The kid comes on to a team thinking he's God's gift to the sport ....

 

[Mavman]

Well 75 I think parents who constantly press their kid and operate a public relations firm for them probably
don't think their kids coach is good enough to coach their "super star" so they don't care about coachable kids!

If your above post is supposed to be some kind of slam on me then well you are reading me way wrong.
I was trying to point out that some talented kids do not get opportunities in youth sports if coaches know the kid thinks he is gods gift to the sport or if parents are way over the top. Kids who work hard and listen can take those spots from them.

I treasure these last few years of my child playing sports because he loves it soo much and I know he will not go to play beyond high school and kids grow up so fast it will be over before we know it.

 

[UMGriz75]

If your above post is supposed to be some kind of slam on me then well you are reading me way wrong. I was trying to point out that some talented kids do not get opportunities in youth sports if coaches know the kid thinks he is gods gift to the sport or if parents are way over the top. Kids who work hard and listen can take those spots from them..

Not sure how you got that out of it. I apparently phrased it badly. I was agreeing with you.

 

[OldtiredGRiz]

This thread reminds me of one of my favorite quips ever. It involved baseball, but the point is relevant to any sport. One of the coaches on my son's traveling summer team had a couple of nasty run ins with parents regarding positions, playing time, batting order, etc..the usual suspects. After a heated post game discussion with a mom and dad in the parking lot, I walked over to the coach and struck up a conversation. He was an old timer, been coaching baseball for 30+ years. So I asked him, why do you still do it? And he said something to the effect of: #1 I love baseball and #2, there's always hope that next year, I'll get my dream team -- 12 orphans.

 

[UMGriz75]

So I asked him, why do you still do it? And he said something to the effect of: #1 I love baseball and #2, there's always hope that next year, I'll get my dream team -- 12 orphans.

There's more to this. A disproportionate number of my players have been "fatherless" from the standpoint of divorce, etc. They hang on your every word. They try as hard as they can in their sport, in large part because they look to you for the approval they never had.

When they look to "coach," its an important relationship in their lives, one of the most important. Later in their lives, as they get significant relationships, marriage, etc, I have now, many times, been introduced as "this is my surrogate father." You can't imagine the pride, but also the responsibility for the current generation of athletes, that that brings.

It's one of the reasons, I am convinced to this day, that Michael Ray Richardson did well at UM, bonded with Jud, lost that anchor when Jud went to Michigan, and went in the directions he did.

 

[SkyRider]

This is the name of a documentary about overbearing sports parents I watched today. One of the kids it focuses on looked so familiar. About half way through I finally looked him up, it was none other than Ian Fox a point guard from Redondo Union High. He was a class of 2014 prospect who the Griz offered and i believe had an official visit set up with. He ended up going to Idaho St for 3 games then transferred to Fullerton CC in California.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9i9MNVX8R8

Very interesting story with him, his dad and his 1st HS coach. Who was fired after Fox's Sophomore year after his dad and other parents complained to the AD and threatened to transfer. Another kid they followed was Ian's teammate, 1 year older. His dad was brutal. Tough spot for a coach to have to deal with one, let alone 2 parents like that. He ended up at D2 colorado-mesa but transferred out not sure where he is now. Here is an article with more details.

http://www.dailybreeze.com/general-news/20120403/redondo-coach-dismissed-disgruntled-parent-sounds-off-on-tom-maier-who-answers-back

Sounds pretty unprofessional by the coach and petty by Fox, his father and other parents. They did win state the following year but also had a couple kids transfer in so who knows. Anyways I found this very interesting and would recommend the movie to anyone who likes sports and doesn't mind getting angry for an hour and a half.

Good, if not disturbing/eye-opening, documentary.

The basketball kids seems to be following in their dad's footsteps. Fox left ISU a few games into last season, and Biale was kicked off the Mesa team this past December.

http://verbalcommits.com/players/derek-biale

 

[Potomac Griz]

The football dad was also a dick. I didn't see where the dad ever went pro, guess he's a bigger failure than he made his kid out to be. The kid plays for D2 Western Washington.

That dude was a total dick. I watched the full documentary on netflix... and it was very hard to watch.

His kid was not interested in playing Football. That was obvious fairly quickly. Western Washington doesn't have a football program any more (since 2008). His kid is likely a hell of a lot happier now that he doesn't have that shithead in his life and can do what he actually wants to do and follow his own goals.

Also the father of that little girl who was a golfer? Seriously who calls their little 9 year old a "stupid bitch" or "motherfucker" like that even under his breath? That guy needs to be smacked upside the head with a 9-iron, repeatedly.

I followed the Ian Fox thing a bit when he was at ISU and then his father was posting on Weber's forums touting him as the next great thing. I figured the kid was just a spoiled brat but after watching the documentary I actually feel bad for his kid. Like what their coach said...when he broke his wrist it wasn't "Ouch!" it was "my dad's going to kill me!"

With father's like that (same with the guy who ended up at the d2 school for basketball and getting kicked off the team) it's little wonder they ended up kind of screwed up

If you can stand it, the entire documentary is on Netflix. It's hard to watch...especially the kid playing football and the little girl who has the father pushing her to be the next great thing in golf.

 

[BDizzle]

I believe ESPN also had a documentary about the golf girl as well as a bunch of other junior golfers. It was crazy how good the little girl was and how much fun she had when her dad wasn't around. I couldn't imagine golfing or doing anything when my dad was following me around throwing a temper tantrum. I hope these kids are able to get away from their parents and live normal lives.

 

[Potomac Griz]

I believe ESPN also had a documentary about the golf girl as well as a bunch of other junior golfers. It was crazy how good the little girl was and how much fun she had when her dad wasn't around.

Yeah from what it sounded like she actually really enjoyed golf, the competition and all that. In the documentary they mentioned after they were done filming she played in a tournament that allowed no-parents and won.

She'd have a lot more fun and likely be able to achieve a lot more if that asshole wasn't shadowing her everywhere on the golf course. If he doesn't get his act together he may burn her out on it completely and make her hate the game of golf. That'd be sad, but it happens a lot I bet.

 

[EverettGriz]

I tried to watch this last night and turned it off after about an hour. I just couldn't take it any longer.

Then I texted my Dad and thanked him for being positively supportive of me and my interests growing up.